Humm, why? Screw that, WHY NOT?

Life is one HUGE lesson right, well several bound together.  I have heard many variations on this... christian, pagan, buddhist, even some that were very dark... We all gotta make our own choices with how we process things.  I read somewhere a christian based theory that we chose what lessons we need to learn.  How we would like our souls to evolve... now, the specifics we cannot chose.  Interesting that.  Seems quite plausible in so much of my life.  Ever sit back and wonder why?  Just tossing that out there.

This weekend began earlier than expected, Thursday evening to be more specific and didn't end until Sunday evening.  Working really hard last week, meant I was just as determined to play hard, mission accomplished! 

Life lessons kept popping up though, gonna go into one of them here maybe explore others later...  Matt, aka, my writing buddy (though I have many other things I call him, most of which aren't very nice.  That's the relationship we have had for the last 12 yrs, its full of sarcasm.  To be fair his term of endearment for me today was Squirt, yea, I am 31... sure why not?) had asked me several things today but even more in the last few days. 

The BIG one this weekend was "WHY"?  Matt was confused.  Friday came up, things were kinda chaotic, I was writing, had a busy day full of fun.  And starting to wind down things for the night. When I notice my friend, nope one of my best friends, is having a rough night.  She is getting overwhelmed with life.  Eh, it happens.  I have hit that panic button often.  So what the heck am I doing?  Nothing that can't wait, I wasn't even supposed to be working!  So I offer to go over there, help her clean and make her laugh.  Not because she is paying me, but because she IS my best.  That's what you do.  Stuff had to be done, and I could make her night flow a bit better, and got to enjoy her company, hell yea!!!  Matt was floored.  Okay, that still, I don't understand.  But he had hit a "wall" of his own, having a tough time that I didn't understand until this morning. 
He text me saying you left, I don't get it.  I called because I was driving.  He just said why?  I said I don't get it.  He said well neither do I.  You don't get recognition, you don't get paid, why?  I know you are tired kid, I know you have stuff to do in the morning.... why?  OHHHH I get the question now.  I have hit this particular wall with lots of people.  Gotcha. 

Answer:  The short and sweet is this IS WHO I AM.  Humility, I won't brag about helping someone out, that's just stupid.  Why do that?  No, don't fluff your feathers at someone else's expense.  The golden rule, I would want to be treated this way.  You set precedence on how and what is acceptable for others to treat you, by the way you behave and treat others.  I am not in it for the paying it forward idea; never give with the intention of getting anything, that clouds the gift.  I have fallen on tough times.... In the past I have always been able to have someone to depend on, different friends, but there is someone there.  I would hope that would continue to be that way.   BUT the real of it is, this I love my friends, everyone of them that is in my life.  They are all unique, a precious gift.  If I can make some one's life easier, why not?  If I can make someone smile, why not?  If I can just make someone laugh.... even bigger success.  There are a few more reasons I could elaborate on.  Its a matter of respect and unconditional love.  Relationships aka my friendships are fantastic, I do cherish them all.   

Wow, wasn't expecting the question, soooo wasn't expecting the answer.  But it's the truth.  It only took me moments to look inside and speak my heart.  Matt was floored.  Somehow I brought him to tears.  He just said, I don't believe you are genuine, I mean if I didn't KNOW you, and know that this is a normalcy for you I wouldn't get it. I would think there was some other motive.  But I know you do this.  I know this is who you are, all you have to do is look at your facebook wall, for crying out loud, and you can see part of it.  I know there are others, who don't say crap, they don't publish it anywhere, or don't say it every time it happens. 

He's right, but it's kinda weird.  I mean its a compliment, and its weird to be called out like that.  It is what it is.  I keep on keeping on.  I give until I can't give, and even then, I am usually still giving.   Yea, yeah, realistically, I have been burned by having that philosophy.  But I won't let those experiences or individuals change who I am.  They aren't worth letting that part of me go.  The victories far out number the tragedies.  So I keep on keeping on.  Yes, this is the REAL me.