Leaps and Bounds

Change is the only constant in life. If you are in the right place or are open to it that change can bring upon growth.

In the last few months my life has changed yet again; taking some unexpected turns and leading to major growth in my own personal relationships. If someone told me a year ago what I would have endured this last year I would have fallen into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Last year at this time I was a shell of who I am now... The caterpillar spinning my cocoon. My personal relationship having been redefined once again and being placed on lockdown. Trying hard to fit the role of friendship in with the circumstances. October and November brought some interesting turns. In December another twist. Only to have January's freeze thaw in February. March and April stayed consistent, a determination to power through tough times. May was the emergence of something incredible. It was then when I finally opened up to the possibilities. I stepped out of the cocoon to show everyone the changes that had been taking place.

The reveal was more than some could handle. The one who instigated the change wasn't on the same path for growth. So I was shoved away.

Not knowing how to react I Was heartbroken and dumbfounded. A couple weeks down. Picked myself up (with the help of some amazing friends) and pushed on. Knowing some new lessons.

It's those lessons that give me hope for the future. :)

Someday I will go into depth about the lessons, the people, the circumstances. But for now... I will be grateful.


It is with an open heart I proceed...

Somethin' positive for a change

I know it's been a bit and like every other time I finally update a million and one things have changed because change is the only constant; truth is tough is that I miss the change if it doesn't happen. I know it's what propels each of us forward and out of that that which is every day life. And because of some recent personal experiences which have created much personal growth I have decided to make my mark.... Being extremely positive force which I can be... Called it the "good morning experiment". Texting my nearest and dearest "good morning". It takes 21 days to begin a habbit and I am well into that with the core group of friends. It had changed my life dramatically. Something as simple as a good morning text has given me so many blessings and so many more positive experiences... Three weeks and my life has turned over a new leaf. I going to continue on the path that I have made.. Continue being a light onion so many people's lives. Deep down I am happy... It feels good for the first time in a long time just to be in my skin.

Yea (so) it's been a while

*taps off the dust*  Sorry, it has been too long since I have posted something public... I say public, because there are entries that will never see the light of day.  Just writing to write really.  I have kept up sorta, but nothing really worth putting out there and honestly some of it is just too much to put out there.  I know I promised sincerity upon beginning this blog and I will continue to write upon that platform, speaking my mind, thoughts, and inner feelings. 

Lets see where to begin?

Well  the calender changed, but that is a given.  Welcoming in January.  CHANGE.  YEAH that has been the theme the past year, 2011.  Was all about change, transition, transformation...

1.) Change is the only constant: adapt, evolve, and embrace it
2.) There is ALWAYS some positive parts/pieces to change.  ALWAYS.

Okay first off you can be resistant to change but you will just cause yourself tons of grief and potentially lots of illness as well as just being a stick in the mud (no fun).  As I was looking back over the past year I decided to look and see where I was ONE year ago.  Hummmm.... I was dating someone whom I thought was an amazing man and had my best interests at heart.  Lol.  <--- awkward laugh btw.  I guess you live and you learn.  That is the best that can be said about that statement.  He is a very smart man, but as for having my best interests at heart, I don't believe that was ever the case.  I now know the difference.  CHANGE.  I thought my whole world was falling apart, I thought I had to hold on tight to this relationship or ... honestly, I don't know the "or what?" part of that statement.  The tighter I held the more resistance was received.  Letting go was one of the best things I ever did.  I learned my lessons, found an even better me, and there are no regrets. 

Six months ago.  I thought I knew who my friends were.  I thought that I knew the definition of a friend.  CHANGE.  I had to redefine the meaning of the word and it was at a very unexpected time in a very unexpected way.  The first changes and lessons from the relationship mentioned in the former paragraph came into play.  Suddenly I was able to provide boundaries.  Something that just hadn't happened before.  Every time in my past I would draw that line in the sand, often moving it as convenient for whatever the situation.  BUT the discovery this time was that I was WORTH exactly the boundaries that I had put in place.  And my FRIENDS respected and never questioned the boundaries.  Picked up my lessons learned and moved forward.  Friend means something unique now, not common at all.  My number of friends is limited my number of best friends, ones that I can count on through it all, I can count on one hand.  But that is all is ever needed, quality over quantity any day!  Knowing who is deserving of my time and energy, two investments that you will never gain return on, is priceless. 

The challenge, I have noticed is to be able to find positive in ALL change.  It's there, though you may have to dig. 

The subjects touched upon tonight will most likely be common thread throughout the blog.  It's really part of my own journey and discovery. 


Happy New Year.  Be well.  And as always it is with an open heart I proceed.  :o)