Had a lot of irons in the fire today. It was supposed to be Mom's day (May 10th is Mexican Mother's Day, always the same day, Dia de Los Madres). As a kiddo we always made sure to observe it, and do something, kinda tradition. So today we hung out. LOL. She has me cracking up all the time. Feisty woman. Guess this apple didn't fall far from that tree! Couple weeks ago Gil, my cousin's cousin, was complaining about spicy mexican food, he lives somewhere its non-existent. Oh remember that one very well. Dang. So I told him I would hook him up in a couple weeks. Making spicy salsa, sweet. Great idea to hang with Mom, in the kitchen.
I love cooking. Maybe I shoulda started there. I am a curvy girl and didn't get that way by not eating! Happy chef, always. Last night's dinner sweet and sour pork. Do I use an recipe? Not normally. I rocked it out, it was a spontaneous decision. And the sauce was homemade, or well 75% lol. This morning brought the salsa making out. FUN! Mom and her food processor. I was just chopping stuff by hand, so it had a good mix, of stuff. I can't tell you how many things went into it, I can tell you there is the "mild" and the "spicy" version. Don't let that fool you. Mom was coughing on the mild one; the spicy one burnt my taste buds.
So two small victories.
Following through with my decisions I made yesterday. Check and check... Oh and the positive affirmations were posted this morning. Great feedback.
Two more victories.
Eight pages written. I have editing to do tomorrow. Quite a bit of it, but it will be with worth it in the end. Four poems, sweet, just came out, didn't have to fight it... in reality was rushing to find paper, almost didn't catch all of the words. Oh and the email sent out to the non profit about volunteering my massage hours. I hope that it works, one of the founders has mentioned the idea before, so its not totally out of left field. Time will tell. I got some back up plans though.
Three more victories.
I have a few errands to run and an appointment to make. Just wanted the update, I am on the right track. Keep moving forward.
Showing posts with label massage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label massage. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Let's hear it for CHANGE!
Well, folks, I am gonna call myself out! So. Somewhere in the pitty party I was throwing for myself this morning, I realized it was all bullsh*t. I heard a quote the other day from Maya Angelou.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
So yea, time for change. Stop the dang pitty party, pick your butt up and do something! Dang I just gave this pep talk. Okay so I wasn't at the top of the cliff looking down, nope I was at the top of a ledge. Sorry. Nice view up here. But still more climbing to go, I can take my own advice. Moving on from where I am.
I am gonna go here, its not comfortable, but this is MY blog. Don't like it, don't read it. Or skip this one. Uncomfortable subject for some, religion. Yup. This won't be a short entry either. I know that, and nope it won't be the first time I go here either.
Like all relationships (parent, friend, lover), my relationship with my creator is just that a relationship. It has its ups and downs. Not everyone will admit it. I grew up conservative Catholic. Raised in the church, there every weekend, CCD classes. All is said and done 3-4 hours ever Sunday was spent at church.. Sometimes a few hours on Saturday night as well. After high school, I was Confirmed. I wanted to make the decision as an adult. Got married in the church... October 19, 2001. Saying the date, because that was really the last time, I felt connected to the church. Not saying that was the last time I went, no its just the last time I had that connection.
My grandmother passed away December of 2003. Oh me and the big man, God, had it out. Somehow I didn't see eye to eye with his plans since that occurrence. (I said this wasn't an easy subject.) I haven't been silent with what happened with my marriage and that caustic relationship. But to me it was just one more thing to blame God for... just like the loss of my child. It was all his fault. The scoreboard showed he was never on MY side.
Came back home after my life had that "reset" button hit. Thank goodness I have a loving family who have been pretty understanding. Yea, within a few months of being here I got to see my extended family and heard that they were disappointed in me not staying in the marriage. Hummm. I think I blew my uncle, who is a deacon in the Catholic church, out of the water when I was quite defensive... and asked if I as supposed to stay in an emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive place. If that would have made me "okay" with God. I had the conversation days before with my best friend. She asked why I wasn't going to church. I told her that there is a HUGE flaw in going to a Catholic church right now. I cannot and be completely accepted. I was in a relationship at this point. But the church sees it as infidelity. Nice, right? Now, before you ask, yes, the divorce was final. It was final March 19, '09. This convo happened in June, same year. Now yea, I can get an annulment, sure, a few grand later, and five guys I have no clue who they are, decide whether I am worthy of being granted it. Worse yet? He gets a say! Ohhh give the abuser a chance, nice. Yea, another grudge. My uncle, he had no clue, tapped right into that sore spot. I love him dearly. He had no clue what was going on nor the pile of crap that he was about to step in.
Now this whole time, I have not given up. I want to believe. I know I should believe. But its sooo hard to believe. I know, its called faith for a reason!
Fine so Michael gets sick (the guy I was dating), not just a cold... no cancer, stage three stomach cancer. Oh crap! Priorities shift. I can't do this by myself. I start to pray, he asks me to go to church, I am there. God is good! His surgeons were incredible. He is a miracle. Cancer free!
Things happened at the church. No it wasn't a Catholic church it happened here and happened at Mike's church same time. It was more than I could handle. Stopped attending. Things went in a spiral from there. Again the scoreboard appeared. And yea I was loosing. There was a lot of anger and resentment in my heart.
Fast forward several months. I had someone come into my life with her two children. OH they have healed my soul, so many ways. I have let of anger go. Realizing that love is proportional. Dang. Lesson. The less I hated the easier it was to love. The more I could love. I have had a few other angels in my life show up too. My best and her couple of boys, wow, they are incredible too! Those two ladies, alone are incredible. I am blessed to have them in my life! I have several other bests that are just amazing in their own right. I am humbled by the love they give on a constant basis.
I had another angel come forward in February this year. LOL
Having these people in my life well, there are close to probably a dzn of them, they all make me wanna be a better person. Yes, I am blessed there is no denying it! And I am constantly getting validation that I am on the right path.
I stumbled again. Was having a tough time this week, just working on the writing... break downs, because life happens. I started praying and meditating again. The latter about a month ago. But praying really praying, this week. Pure heart, just open.... for the first time in a long time, WAYYY to long. Just opened up and asked for help. Was looking for peace. I had a session (massage) on Tuesday. And I know I can work great things, when I focus. When I let the process of healing happen. I opened up. Just asked for me to be used the tool to facilitate the healing. I knew that asking so would mean that I was admitting I couldn't do this on my own.... ALL OF IT. I surrendered. Let go.
Well, I took on too much, right out of the gate, energy work, while it helped my client (my best). I neglected me. Opps. I took on too much, I admitted I am an empathetic soul. I am a healer, I can take on too much, stuff that isn't mine. Dang. I did. I didn't ground, didn't separate. It lasted a couple of days, and I am still healing (Sweetheart, I know you are reading, DO NOT, feel guilty. Re-read that, statement). This is part of being a therapist, part of being empathetic to people. Friday I was seeing the bottom of a pit for the second day.
I surrendered again. Saying I just needed a sign. I need to know that I am doing what I should be doing, I want help getting where I need to be. Please. I can't do this all on my own. It doesn't work. Immediately I felt relief. Weight lifted off. It gets better... Friday night I was given a gift. Haha, Saturday afternoon, I put said gift into the player, and listened. Hummm. Wow, message delivered. Message received. Well like 75% of it.
This morning, my plan of action, talking to the person I gave the pep talk to... he helped me sort things out. Funny how that worked out. He gave me that hand up. Listened to my plan and encouraged. I took it a step further. I want witnesses. I want to be accountable for my actions, posted it on Facebook, I know seems kinda random. But not so much. The people on there are people on there I care about. Keep me in check. Make sure I stay on the right path. Let's do this, raise each other up. Got my affirmations and validations... one after the other. Beautiful! Message received, 100%!
Game plan on, time to get re certified. Get back to what makes me happy, what I am good at, healing. Its a gift. Getting back to my dream. Re certify my National Certification...... I am working on the details of the plan. Prayers are always welcome. I got my smile back, the one that shines from the inside.
I am still pursuing with an open mind and a grateful heart but this time with God with me.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
So yea, time for change. Stop the dang pitty party, pick your butt up and do something! Dang I just gave this pep talk. Okay so I wasn't at the top of the cliff looking down, nope I was at the top of a ledge. Sorry. Nice view up here. But still more climbing to go, I can take my own advice. Moving on from where I am.
I am gonna go here, its not comfortable, but this is MY blog. Don't like it, don't read it. Or skip this one. Uncomfortable subject for some, religion. Yup. This won't be a short entry either. I know that, and nope it won't be the first time I go here either.
Like all relationships (parent, friend, lover), my relationship with my creator is just that a relationship. It has its ups and downs. Not everyone will admit it. I grew up conservative Catholic. Raised in the church, there every weekend, CCD classes. All is said and done 3-4 hours ever Sunday was spent at church.. Sometimes a few hours on Saturday night as well. After high school, I was Confirmed. I wanted to make the decision as an adult. Got married in the church... October 19, 2001. Saying the date, because that was really the last time, I felt connected to the church. Not saying that was the last time I went, no its just the last time I had that connection.
My grandmother passed away December of 2003. Oh me and the big man, God, had it out. Somehow I didn't see eye to eye with his plans since that occurrence. (I said this wasn't an easy subject.) I haven't been silent with what happened with my marriage and that caustic relationship. But to me it was just one more thing to blame God for... just like the loss of my child. It was all his fault. The scoreboard showed he was never on MY side.
Came back home after my life had that "reset" button hit. Thank goodness I have a loving family who have been pretty understanding. Yea, within a few months of being here I got to see my extended family and heard that they were disappointed in me not staying in the marriage. Hummm. I think I blew my uncle, who is a deacon in the Catholic church, out of the water when I was quite defensive... and asked if I as supposed to stay in an emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive place. If that would have made me "okay" with God. I had the conversation days before with my best friend. She asked why I wasn't going to church. I told her that there is a HUGE flaw in going to a Catholic church right now. I cannot and be completely accepted. I was in a relationship at this point. But the church sees it as infidelity. Nice, right? Now, before you ask, yes, the divorce was final. It was final March 19, '09. This convo happened in June, same year. Now yea, I can get an annulment, sure, a few grand later, and five guys I have no clue who they are, decide whether I am worthy of being granted it. Worse yet? He gets a say! Ohhh give the abuser a chance, nice. Yea, another grudge. My uncle, he had no clue, tapped right into that sore spot. I love him dearly. He had no clue what was going on nor the pile of crap that he was about to step in.
Now this whole time, I have not given up. I want to believe. I know I should believe. But its sooo hard to believe. I know, its called faith for a reason!
Fine so Michael gets sick (the guy I was dating), not just a cold... no cancer, stage three stomach cancer. Oh crap! Priorities shift. I can't do this by myself. I start to pray, he asks me to go to church, I am there. God is good! His surgeons were incredible. He is a miracle. Cancer free!
Things happened at the church. No it wasn't a Catholic church it happened here and happened at Mike's church same time. It was more than I could handle. Stopped attending. Things went in a spiral from there. Again the scoreboard appeared. And yea I was loosing. There was a lot of anger and resentment in my heart.
Fast forward several months. I had someone come into my life with her two children. OH they have healed my soul, so many ways. I have let of anger go. Realizing that love is proportional. Dang. Lesson. The less I hated the easier it was to love. The more I could love. I have had a few other angels in my life show up too. My best and her couple of boys, wow, they are incredible too! Those two ladies, alone are incredible. I am blessed to have them in my life! I have several other bests that are just amazing in their own right. I am humbled by the love they give on a constant basis.
I had another angel come forward in February this year. LOL
Having these people in my life well, there are close to probably a dzn of them, they all make me wanna be a better person. Yes, I am blessed there is no denying it! And I am constantly getting validation that I am on the right path.
I stumbled again. Was having a tough time this week, just working on the writing... break downs, because life happens. I started praying and meditating again. The latter about a month ago. But praying really praying, this week. Pure heart, just open.... for the first time in a long time, WAYYY to long. Just opened up and asked for help. Was looking for peace. I had a session (massage) on Tuesday. And I know I can work great things, when I focus. When I let the process of healing happen. I opened up. Just asked for me to be used the tool to facilitate the healing. I knew that asking so would mean that I was admitting I couldn't do this on my own.... ALL OF IT. I surrendered. Let go.
Well, I took on too much, right out of the gate, energy work, while it helped my client (my best). I neglected me. Opps. I took on too much, I admitted I am an empathetic soul. I am a healer, I can take on too much, stuff that isn't mine. Dang. I did. I didn't ground, didn't separate. It lasted a couple of days, and I am still healing (Sweetheart, I know you are reading, DO NOT, feel guilty. Re-read that, statement). This is part of being a therapist, part of being empathetic to people. Friday I was seeing the bottom of a pit for the second day.
I surrendered again. Saying I just needed a sign. I need to know that I am doing what I should be doing, I want help getting where I need to be. Please. I can't do this all on my own. It doesn't work. Immediately I felt relief. Weight lifted off. It gets better... Friday night I was given a gift. Haha, Saturday afternoon, I put said gift into the player, and listened. Hummm. Wow, message delivered. Message received. Well like 75% of it.
This morning, my plan of action, talking to the person I gave the pep talk to... he helped me sort things out. Funny how that worked out. He gave me that hand up. Listened to my plan and encouraged. I took it a step further. I want witnesses. I want to be accountable for my actions, posted it on Facebook, I know seems kinda random. But not so much. The people on there are people on there I care about. Keep me in check. Make sure I stay on the right path. Let's do this, raise each other up. Got my affirmations and validations... one after the other. Beautiful! Message received, 100%!
Game plan on, time to get re certified. Get back to what makes me happy, what I am good at, healing. Its a gift. Getting back to my dream. Re certify my National Certification...... I am working on the details of the plan. Prayers are always welcome. I got my smile back, the one that shines from the inside.
I am still pursuing with an open mind and a grateful heart but this time with God with me.
Friday, May 6, 2011
empathetic me
So. Maybe I should have started here. It's hard to explain. Difficult to find the word. Trying. Okay. A psychic "sees" right. I mean this is a given. Now people can argue the accuracy from here until the end of time, but that's what they do they "see" with their sixth sense, some other event that is not happening right in front of them, is not apparent with their five senses. Yea, so work with me on this, the best way I know how to describe it is I am an empath. Yea, not "seeing" as a psychic sees, but rather "feeling".
What does that mean? Hummm well it means I am super sensitive to emotions. Always have been. I can be happy-go-lucky me and because someone I care about is having a rough time, eh, it lowers it. Yea, yea, that's just being empathetic/sympathetic to a situation... nope, its beyond that, it truly bums me out! The reverse is true, I get happier if my friends are succeeding. See kinda selfishly propelling you all forward. *wink* No really I love bragging. That's something else entirely.
Okay so there is another couple parts to this "gift". I get feelings about a situation. Yea, this is the more I guess you could say psychic part of it. I can feel if a situation is good or not, most of the time. Going with my gut. Umm this is good and bad. I hate driving on the freeway, worse, someone else driving. I see some pretty awful situations that could occur. It used to be worse; I used to see horrific accidents. I mean like they really happened, gruesome sights... potential accidents, worse when they actually do happen. UGH. But there is good too.... Developing this while working on massage. SWEET. I have great intuition when working on a person. Just sync up with the surroundings and their energy. Can't fully explain it, you'd have to be on my table to experience it.
There is another part in being around a person, and maybe this goes best under massage. I can feel what is hurting in them, let my guard down and I can feel physical and emotional pain. If I don't snap it back into place, well I can take on their issues, mental, emotional, physical. No bueno. I try, its difficult though if I am involved with the person, if I care about their well being... friends, family. yea.
Along with that there can be an energy exchange, yea this is the most out there part. I know you have followed or tried to follow. I connect to people. I am a people person. If I let you in. I quite literally let you in. I have a connection with you from that point forward. Now if something happens I can get a feeling... like a tug on a string that something is up. If I am grounded, being neutral within my own energy, meditating... anything like that, that tug is very strong. I have met others like me in this aspect, well in all little faucets of this niche. Seems like attracts like several of my friends do this whether they know it or not.
Not sure that I did much to explain how things work... Maybe created more questions. Ask. I will answer. Gladly.
What does that mean? Hummm well it means I am super sensitive to emotions. Always have been. I can be happy-go-lucky me and because someone I care about is having a rough time, eh, it lowers it. Yea, yea, that's just being empathetic/sympathetic to a situation... nope, its beyond that, it truly bums me out! The reverse is true, I get happier if my friends are succeeding. See kinda selfishly propelling you all forward. *wink* No really I love bragging. That's something else entirely.
Okay so there is another couple parts to this "gift". I get feelings about a situation. Yea, this is the more I guess you could say psychic part of it. I can feel if a situation is good or not, most of the time. Going with my gut. Umm this is good and bad. I hate driving on the freeway, worse, someone else driving. I see some pretty awful situations that could occur. It used to be worse; I used to see horrific accidents. I mean like they really happened, gruesome sights... potential accidents, worse when they actually do happen. UGH. But there is good too.... Developing this while working on massage. SWEET. I have great intuition when working on a person. Just sync up with the surroundings and their energy. Can't fully explain it, you'd have to be on my table to experience it.
There is another part in being around a person, and maybe this goes best under massage. I can feel what is hurting in them, let my guard down and I can feel physical and emotional pain. If I don't snap it back into place, well I can take on their issues, mental, emotional, physical. No bueno. I try, its difficult though if I am involved with the person, if I care about their well being... friends, family. yea.
Along with that there can be an energy exchange, yea this is the most out there part. I know you have followed or tried to follow. I connect to people. I am a people person. If I let you in. I quite literally let you in. I have a connection with you from that point forward. Now if something happens I can get a feeling... like a tug on a string that something is up. If I am grounded, being neutral within my own energy, meditating... anything like that, that tug is very strong. I have met others like me in this aspect, well in all little faucets of this niche. Seems like attracts like several of my friends do this whether they know it or not.
Not sure that I did much to explain how things work... Maybe created more questions. Ask. I will answer. Gladly.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Healing happens!!
Alrighty so yours truly (insert big goofy grin here) IS a massage therapist. Kinda randomly, not so random. I have always been a hands on, touchy kinda person. AFFECTIONATE, very. My ex hubby used to hate it, haha, he's an ex for about a zillion reasons that's just one of many! Anyhow. So how did do this? or rather why? And a few one really awesome story I am gonna share. At least one, in this entry.
Okay so, I knew that I was at a job going no where, love you, Mom, I know you did the same line of work. I could see the ship sinking and didn't wanna be a part of it! So game plan what do I want to do when I grow up? Makeup. Hummmm, yea, big gross gnarly stuff. In the mean while, I can use my hands still... I like being with other people, not a loner type by nature at all. Hummm. Massage therapy. Sure why not? Ever had a professional massage? NOPE, not before I started school. Lets go back in time 2003... Summer of '03.
So I made some appointments because that's what you do, research. Okay call backs. I scheduled three appts with three different schools in the valley. First on the list. Arizona School of Massage Therapy (ASMT), Tempe Campus. Pretty awesome meeting later, the hubby had gone (but he was "nice" that afternoon). So, got sooo many affirmations that this is where I should be in life. We went out to dinner and he asked me, I can't tell you how many times if I was sure. I ended up being pissed... said I was going to start school in October whether he liked it or not. That was the answer he wanted.
School. Hadn't done that for a while. Part time school, evenings for a year. 5:30pm-10:30pm, Mon-Thurs. GEEZ. I had a full time job 7-4 Mon-Fri. Very exhausted Mari! That doesn't count studying. Lots of classes, massage, anatomy, chineese medicine! Yea. We even had cadaver lab. Hehe.
Short story... I got all A's except one class, advanced Russian Sports (I was sick, so very sick taking that final) blah.
I discovered many many things along the way. I was great at anatomy - makes sense! A great therapist... and really great at energy work, I just get it, there is no other way to explain, at least not in this particular blog.
Half way through the program we had practicals... HANDS ON, with the public. AHHHH! I was doing well, every Sunday morning 8-1pm I was there, working my tail feathers off! We could get there early and leave a bit late, set up our own "booth" but it was all just for experience.
One morning, getting my things together, I had this nagging feeling to grab my accupressure book, ran back up stairs to the apt, just for that! Geez, random, it wasn't something I would normally bring. But I couldnt leave without it. FINE. So I went along my way. Got there early, third session in, I get a very frantic clinic manager begging someone to do energy work. Sure... I can do this. He asked five times, I GRABBED THE BOOK. Said here I am supposed to do this today. Turns out the guy had just had a liver transplant a week ago, no bodywork should have been done, the man just knew he needed touch. Instinctivly he knew. DAMN!
Okay so we sat down talked expectations, he knew he wasn't going to get a normal massage, it would all be energy work. He wasn't sure, neither was the clinic manager... I had to convice them BOTH. Did it!!!!
Walked my client who was grey in color, down the hall, helping him crouched over his walker. I was patient. That's what he needed validation, time. I had this. I helped him on the table. Bolstered under his knees and another couple to keep him somewhat elevated.
I stepped back and just asked for healing to occur, what ever it was, just asked for it to happen... my hands could be used how ever, they were only the tools, I would be only there to witness it happen. please.
touch. I went through about five flows, before I just started working on my own. Slowly his breathing became deeper, and I could see him sink into the table. I just paid attention. Ten min to go, and I looked at this man's face... Oh my goodness, his cheeks were rosy! OH CRUD. He had color to his skin.
Session ended, I helped him sit, very slowly, and turned to get his walker. He grabbed my hand and tugged. I was so worried. Turning around I met the softest eyes, he said so kindly thank you. Oh I nearly lost it. I squeezed his and and told him he was most welcome. We walked down the hall and he validated me as a therapist. Any doubts I ever have.... he told me to remember him. And I DO! He had so many kind words. The manager, client and I all went back to the room for a discussion afterwards. Once the client left, we both cried like babies. Geez. No one expected that, I am honored to have witnessed it, to have been apart of it.
Energy work is something I believe in, whole heartily! I am always honored when anyone lets me into their space to help facilitate healing. Humbled always. It is with a grateful heart that I proceed and allow healing to occur with in that space.
I know mushy massage therapist talk, but I love it. Thinking that in so many ways it mirrors my life. So with that I am of to give healing a space to occur. YEA!
Okay so, I knew that I was at a job going no where, love you, Mom, I know you did the same line of work. I could see the ship sinking and didn't wanna be a part of it! So game plan what do I want to do when I grow up? Makeup. Hummmm, yea, big gross gnarly stuff. In the mean while, I can use my hands still... I like being with other people, not a loner type by nature at all. Hummm. Massage therapy. Sure why not? Ever had a professional massage? NOPE, not before I started school. Lets go back in time 2003... Summer of '03.
So I made some appointments because that's what you do, research. Okay call backs. I scheduled three appts with three different schools in the valley. First on the list. Arizona School of Massage Therapy (ASMT), Tempe Campus. Pretty awesome meeting later, the hubby had gone (but he was "nice" that afternoon). So, got sooo many affirmations that this is where I should be in life. We went out to dinner and he asked me, I can't tell you how many times if I was sure. I ended up being pissed... said I was going to start school in October whether he liked it or not. That was the answer he wanted.
School. Hadn't done that for a while. Part time school, evenings for a year. 5:30pm-10:30pm, Mon-Thurs. GEEZ. I had a full time job 7-4 Mon-Fri. Very exhausted Mari! That doesn't count studying. Lots of classes, massage, anatomy, chineese medicine! Yea. We even had cadaver lab. Hehe.
Short story... I got all A's except one class, advanced Russian Sports (I was sick, so very sick taking that final) blah.
I discovered many many things along the way. I was great at anatomy - makes sense! A great therapist... and really great at energy work, I just get it, there is no other way to explain, at least not in this particular blog.
Half way through the program we had practicals... HANDS ON, with the public. AHHHH! I was doing well, every Sunday morning 8-1pm I was there, working my tail feathers off! We could get there early and leave a bit late, set up our own "booth" but it was all just for experience.
One morning, getting my things together, I had this nagging feeling to grab my accupressure book, ran back up stairs to the apt, just for that! Geez, random, it wasn't something I would normally bring. But I couldnt leave without it. FINE. So I went along my way. Got there early, third session in, I get a very frantic clinic manager begging someone to do energy work. Sure... I can do this. He asked five times, I GRABBED THE BOOK. Said here I am supposed to do this today. Turns out the guy had just had a liver transplant a week ago, no bodywork should have been done, the man just knew he needed touch. Instinctivly he knew. DAMN!
Okay so we sat down talked expectations, he knew he wasn't going to get a normal massage, it would all be energy work. He wasn't sure, neither was the clinic manager... I had to convice them BOTH. Did it!!!!
Walked my client who was grey in color, down the hall, helping him crouched over his walker. I was patient. That's what he needed validation, time. I had this. I helped him on the table. Bolstered under his knees and another couple to keep him somewhat elevated.
I stepped back and just asked for healing to occur, what ever it was, just asked for it to happen... my hands could be used how ever, they were only the tools, I would be only there to witness it happen. please.
touch. I went through about five flows, before I just started working on my own. Slowly his breathing became deeper, and I could see him sink into the table. I just paid attention. Ten min to go, and I looked at this man's face... Oh my goodness, his cheeks were rosy! OH CRUD. He had color to his skin.
Session ended, I helped him sit, very slowly, and turned to get his walker. He grabbed my hand and tugged. I was so worried. Turning around I met the softest eyes, he said so kindly thank you. Oh I nearly lost it. I squeezed his and and told him he was most welcome. We walked down the hall and he validated me as a therapist. Any doubts I ever have.... he told me to remember him. And I DO! He had so many kind words. The manager, client and I all went back to the room for a discussion afterwards. Once the client left, we both cried like babies. Geez. No one expected that, I am honored to have witnessed it, to have been apart of it.
Energy work is something I believe in, whole heartily! I am always honored when anyone lets me into their space to help facilitate healing. Humbled always. It is with a grateful heart that I proceed and allow healing to occur with in that space.
I know mushy massage therapist talk, but I love it. Thinking that in so many ways it mirrors my life. So with that I am of to give healing a space to occur. YEA!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Humm, why? Screw that, WHY NOT?
Life is one HUGE lesson right, well several bound together. I have heard many variations on this... christian, pagan, buddhist, even some that were very dark... We all gotta make our own choices with how we process things. I read somewhere a christian based theory that we chose what lessons we need to learn. How we would like our souls to evolve... now, the specifics we cannot chose. Interesting that. Seems quite plausible in so much of my life. Ever sit back and wonder why? Just tossing that out there.
This weekend began earlier than expected, Thursday evening to be more specific and didn't end until Sunday evening. Working really hard last week, meant I was just as determined to play hard, mission accomplished!
Life lessons kept popping up though, gonna go into one of them here maybe explore others later... Matt, aka, my writing buddy (though I have many other things I call him, most of which aren't very nice. That's the relationship we have had for the last 12 yrs, its full of sarcasm. To be fair his term of endearment for me today was Squirt, yea, I am 31... sure why not?) had asked me several things today but even more in the last few days.
The BIG one this weekend was "WHY"? Matt was confused. Friday came up, things were kinda chaotic, I was writing, had a busy day full of fun. And starting to wind down things for the night. When I notice my friend, nope one of my best friends, is having a rough night. She is getting overwhelmed with life. Eh, it happens. I have hit that panic button often. So what the heck am I doing? Nothing that can't wait, I wasn't even supposed to be working! So I offer to go over there, help her clean and make her laugh. Not because she is paying me, but because she IS my best. That's what you do. Stuff had to be done, and I could make her night flow a bit better, and got to enjoy her company, hell yea!!! Matt was floored. Okay, that still, I don't understand. But he had hit a "wall" of his own, having a tough time that I didn't understand until this morning.
He text me saying you left, I don't get it. I called because I was driving. He just said why? I said I don't get it. He said well neither do I. You don't get recognition, you don't get paid, why? I know you are tired kid, I know you have stuff to do in the morning.... why? OHHHH I get the question now. I have hit this particular wall with lots of people. Gotcha.
Answer: The short and sweet is this IS WHO I AM. Humility, I won't brag about helping someone out, that's just stupid. Why do that? No, don't fluff your feathers at someone else's expense. The golden rule, I would want to be treated this way. You set precedence on how and what is acceptable for others to treat you, by the way you behave and treat others. I am not in it for the paying it forward idea; never give with the intention of getting anything, that clouds the gift. I have fallen on tough times.... In the past I have always been able to have someone to depend on, different friends, but there is someone there. I would hope that would continue to be that way. BUT the real of it is, this I love my friends, everyone of them that is in my life. They are all unique, a precious gift. If I can make some one's life easier, why not? If I can make someone smile, why not? If I can just make someone laugh.... even bigger success. There are a few more reasons I could elaborate on. Its a matter of respect and unconditional love. Relationships aka my friendships are fantastic, I do cherish them all.
Wow, wasn't expecting the question, soooo wasn't expecting the answer. But it's the truth. It only took me moments to look inside and speak my heart. Matt was floored. Somehow I brought him to tears. He just said, I don't believe you are genuine, I mean if I didn't KNOW you, and know that this is a normalcy for you I wouldn't get it. I would think there was some other motive. But I know you do this. I know this is who you are, all you have to do is look at your facebook wall, for crying out loud, and you can see part of it. I know there are others, who don't say crap, they don't publish it anywhere, or don't say it every time it happens.
He's right, but it's kinda weird. I mean its a compliment, and its weird to be called out like that. It is what it is. I keep on keeping on. I give until I can't give, and even then, I am usually still giving. Yea, yeah, realistically, I have been burned by having that philosophy. But I won't let those experiences or individuals change who I am. They aren't worth letting that part of me go. The victories far out number the tragedies. So I keep on keeping on. Yes, this is the REAL me.
This weekend began earlier than expected, Thursday evening to be more specific and didn't end until Sunday evening. Working really hard last week, meant I was just as determined to play hard, mission accomplished!
Life lessons kept popping up though, gonna go into one of them here maybe explore others later... Matt, aka, my writing buddy (though I have many other things I call him, most of which aren't very nice. That's the relationship we have had for the last 12 yrs, its full of sarcasm. To be fair his term of endearment for me today was Squirt, yea, I am 31... sure why not?) had asked me several things today but even more in the last few days.
The BIG one this weekend was "WHY"? Matt was confused. Friday came up, things were kinda chaotic, I was writing, had a busy day full of fun. And starting to wind down things for the night. When I notice my friend, nope one of my best friends, is having a rough night. She is getting overwhelmed with life. Eh, it happens. I have hit that panic button often. So what the heck am I doing? Nothing that can't wait, I wasn't even supposed to be working! So I offer to go over there, help her clean and make her laugh. Not because she is paying me, but because she IS my best. That's what you do. Stuff had to be done, and I could make her night flow a bit better, and got to enjoy her company, hell yea!!! Matt was floored. Okay, that still, I don't understand. But he had hit a "wall" of his own, having a tough time that I didn't understand until this morning.
He text me saying you left, I don't get it. I called because I was driving. He just said why? I said I don't get it. He said well neither do I. You don't get recognition, you don't get paid, why? I know you are tired kid, I know you have stuff to do in the morning.... why? OHHHH I get the question now. I have hit this particular wall with lots of people. Gotcha.
Answer: The short and sweet is this IS WHO I AM. Humility, I won't brag about helping someone out, that's just stupid. Why do that? No, don't fluff your feathers at someone else's expense. The golden rule, I would want to be treated this way. You set precedence on how and what is acceptable for others to treat you, by the way you behave and treat others. I am not in it for the paying it forward idea; never give with the intention of getting anything, that clouds the gift. I have fallen on tough times.... In the past I have always been able to have someone to depend on, different friends, but there is someone there. I would hope that would continue to be that way. BUT the real of it is, this I love my friends, everyone of them that is in my life. They are all unique, a precious gift. If I can make some one's life easier, why not? If I can make someone smile, why not? If I can just make someone laugh.... even bigger success. There are a few more reasons I could elaborate on. Its a matter of respect and unconditional love. Relationships aka my friendships are fantastic, I do cherish them all.
Wow, wasn't expecting the question, soooo wasn't expecting the answer. But it's the truth. It only took me moments to look inside and speak my heart. Matt was floored. Somehow I brought him to tears. He just said, I don't believe you are genuine, I mean if I didn't KNOW you, and know that this is a normalcy for you I wouldn't get it. I would think there was some other motive. But I know you do this. I know this is who you are, all you have to do is look at your facebook wall, for crying out loud, and you can see part of it. I know there are others, who don't say crap, they don't publish it anywhere, or don't say it every time it happens.
He's right, but it's kinda weird. I mean its a compliment, and its weird to be called out like that. It is what it is. I keep on keeping on. I give until I can't give, and even then, I am usually still giving. Yea, yeah, realistically, I have been burned by having that philosophy. But I won't let those experiences or individuals change who I am. They aren't worth letting that part of me go. The victories far out number the tragedies. So I keep on keeping on. Yes, this is the REAL me.
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