Clearning out space

Hasn't quite been a week of posting positive affirmations but things are starting to change, manifest positive outcomes.  Yes, I am walking that walk too, not just talking!

Change can happen.  Change your mind, change your thoughts... Move through the crap, cut out the unproductive vine... keep on moving forward. You will be like the cream, rising to the top!  Small changes can result in big things happening, this is something that I have seen, this last week.  --- all of these statements are things that have been said to me this week by friends! 
I know general statements.  Gonna start off with today's affirmation and progress from there, explaining a bit how it applies and what happened to me.  You get what you project, its why I wanted to work on the affirmations, laws of attraction.


"I attract only healthy relationships"

This last week, oh wow.  The good people in my life those supporting the positive changes those who want to be a part of this and get behind me, are there.  FIRMLY there!  BTW, HECK YEA!  I have never felt so much positive energy, so much positive support.  I am a happy girl, personally.  Feeling validated in a major way.  Things are moving the way they should be.  There are always the negative energy, the haters.  Its pretty interesting that I had that force come at me twice.  DONE.  There just isn't any room in my life for it. 

If I allow the negative, its like I have said for the last few years... let me use the analogy of a closet... spring cleaning.  What do you do?  You organize, toss out the stuff that doesn't fit, is out of date, or style, purge the stuff out of the closet that isn't working for you.... why?  To make room for the good stuff!  For new stuff.  If you hang on to the negative, then there isn't room for the positive.  I have taken this analogy and ran with it for a while, remembering to clear out that negative energy out of my life out of my personal space every so often.... when I purposely make space for positive energy, relationships, I always get them.  YES!  It's totally worth the change.  Completely worth it the trust in the process. 

Life hasn't always been this positive for me.  We all have stories.  Here's the raw part from me... Victim of rape, abuse (mental, emotional, and physical), caustic relationships.   That is just the tip of the iceberg.  Not wanting to wear that "victim status" yea, it happened.  At some point I may go into those subjects, its actually pretty likely, this is a fairly new blog.  Peeling off the layers slower.  I do firmly believe, that you can be the 'victim' your whole life, or  you can take it, run with it... wear what happened to you, like a badge, say you went through it.  It MAKES you who you are at this very moment.  I am a very loving person and trusting despite all that has happened.  I won't let some bad choices of others change me, that to me, lets them have that part of me, that uniqueness. NOPE.  I am who I am, they won't change it.  Projecting the positive. 

There are about eight affirmations that I see on a daily basis, sticky noted.  Its subliminal messages at this point, something is sticking to the inside of my subconscious too, its working.  The positive relationship affirmation has been on my mirror since Monday.  lol, things have happened, changes, and all for the better. 

Good things are happening.  And I am open to the idea of more good things happening.  Diversity happens too, challenge, there will always be something out there to try and shake it up and make things difficult.  I have, as this week has proved, a wonderful support system. 

Speaking of that system.... I owe some HUGE thank yous to people in my life.  In the midst of diversity, the stood there, told me they had my back, gave me words of encouragement, and let me be me.  They didn't "fix it for me".  They just let me know that the answer lied within and within my trust in GOD.  They ROCK.  I am still grateful for so much. 

I know I have done my share of leaning this week.  This works both ways.  All those people in my life, I am there for them too.  I will be (this blog is my witness) your biggest cheerleader (fan), your shoulder should you need me, a safe place to tell your secrets to, and if you trust me enough with your dreams.  I will help you get there, moving mountains if we need to one grain of sand at a time.  Let me be there, and I will. 

Still shooting for the moon! 
I know random blog again.  Yikes, but these thoughts and ideas need to go somewhere.  They have to manifest.  Thanks for reading. 

A heart full of gratitude, I keep on moving forward.

Challenged.

I was thinking driving this morning back home from my Starbucks outing which was a continuation of my Applebee's outing last night.  *grin*.  I felt good in my own skin. For the first time in a while, things were going well. I had a really great conversation and got my thoughts communicated across well.  I also heard what was being said.  Its nice being on the same track.  Trying to figure out the difference between a few days or weeks ago and now. 

So not but half an hr at most after I posted a status about a change in mentality in my life... it was challenged.  And confronted from an angle that I just wasn't expecting.  Yea I got defensive.  The change is for the better.  I have been lost for so long.  And I finally surrender, knowing I cannot do this on my own. 

There has been an internal struggle for sometime, but I discussed that two blogs ago.  Someone whom, I thought was behind me, turned out to be just there for his own things.  The moment I change (I am not allowed to grow, I guess, as a person) I get conditions, exceptions, and confronted with prejudices... that I am supposed to have?  How does that work.  Just because I have made a change, means I must be in this box over here.  And I have to abide by all "those" rules in the box????  This doesn't make sense to me.  I wasn't the one putting these restrictions on my feelings, on our relationship. 

The person I thought I'd get the most slack from about turning toward God, was my friend who is a Satanist.  Hummm, find it rather odd, that he actually was supportive.  This is not an issue to me on beliefs.  It's a personal decision to me; its because its a personal relationship.

I broke down.  Seems that he knows exactly the weaknesses, exactly what buttons to push.  But seriously?  If this is my only challenge to this... fine.  I know where he and I stand, there is a reason we are not together.  And ya know, maybe that's the reason we aren't really together.  Higher power?  Either way.  Tearing me down, apart, making me cry, and feel like crap for a positive decision I have made, isn't the way to make me love anything, anyone.  It's not healthy.  It may also be another excuse.  Well, I am not dealing with excuses. 

The difference between what was and what could be is what was is the past.  What could be is right in front of me and starting to take place.  Hummm..  See how that fits. 

Challenged yes.  Did it shake my faith NOPE.  If anything it actually validated the decisions.  My friends affirm my stance.  And although, I have one who I thought was important, disagreeing... The "t" chart is a bit imbalanced with those in favor. 

Sucks because I love this person for who he is, always have.  Somehow... I guess I am still giving more than I get.  The well is running dry in that area.  And my cup overflowth in others. 

I have an incredible support system.  And am now realizing that these people have been there the whole time.  Incredibly blessed and humbled to be in HIS light. 

Still gonna be positive, I will at some point see the silver lining even on the darkest of clouds.  Haven't given  up hope on anything yet.  It's not like me.  Eternal optimist.  Still going to pray for patience and understanding.  
Maybe I spoke in circles, I am pretty tired, this just drained me today.  Time to get some rest for the night.  Focusing on the good, the new, the great things, opportunity,  and people I have in my life.  That is where my energy should be anyhow.  I know that those people can't help but make me smile.

We're Positive!

Yea, call it the "Kirby Girl" in me, or something like that.  Sam, yes, Boss man, you so programed me... it took two days, and lots of correction but I finally was able to answer the phone and make those calls, confidence and positive.  Incredible growth during that time.  I had to be positive in everything.  We were to answer the phone with enthusiasm and say "We're Positive".  The sales calls or calls to enter contests from the customers home ALWAYS had to be excited, ready to go, over the top... with positive.  If it was something negative (a no, to the price or a no to the purchase, we couldn't say that, we HAD to make it positive, had to!)  Oh the lectures!  Haha!! Fake it until you make it, and then they will never know you faked it!  Lots of great memories, and one of the best bosses I have worked for, motivating force. 

So, looking over things for my test, my recertification.  I noticed something.  Well, yea, I realized how awesome my pro-d book is, even better the notes I took in that class.  WHOOOHOO!  Somehow it all blended together, sorry Mr. Sanders, I know, it was 5:30pm-10:30pm after a full time job.  My bad.  But Sir, I did take notes, and thorough.  Bet you didn't think you'd continue to hear thank yous seven years later.

Speaking of Jon Sanders, I gave him a book back then... The Dream Giver, Bruce Wilkinson.  Honestly, I have read only the first half of the book.  (confession, I know).  Its a parable, though, it reads pretty fast.  Its about a "Some body" from "Ordinary" who is surrounded by "Nobody".  He wants to stand out, wants to be a great "Somebody".  He has to overcome fears and challenges along the way... His journey is great. 

I digress... this was supposed to be about me getting my certification back.  Going through everything sparked lots of stuff.  But one of the BIG things, and I was told it was a great idea by a few people today... is looking at positive affirmations.  So everyday, gonna work on posting at least one of those a day.  I am on FB all the time, and starting up my twitter account again.  Haha, long story.  But why not BE that light, to more than just one person, why not just continue to share it amongst my friends. 

I mean I am always positive in the morning, and try minus my rants, to keep it positive.  This is really an extension of that, thinking of it as my note on the mirror for the day.  LOL.  BTW, I have one on each of my mirrors in my room.  Just gonna list it as the affirmation for the day, see if it goes anywhere.  I hope it takes off.  Hope it makes people think.  Hope that it can give people just a bit of hope... something.  There is so much negative out there, so many things we encounter everyday.  Outside forces that tear at us emotionally, mentally, physically.  I hope to just be that light. Even if its for a few moments...I think this is another facet of Matt's question the other night,  WHY?  My response is still, WHY THE HECK NOT?!