Unconditional Challenge.

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
-Jacques Deval

This quote was posted, by my dear friend during the midst of our discussion yesterday about love...  The quote most defiantly embraces what we were saying.  Had someone (Matt) ask for an in depth discussion via a blog. 

First off, background.  I am not sure if I have mentioned it before, but I personally love unconditionally.  Unique because in this world so many put restrictions on love.  Personally, I just can't seem to find it in my heart to do so.  At one time, maybe.  But it's been so long ago, I just don't get why or how to anymore. 

16yrs, bit more now. Had this guy in my life, always a guy? Blah. NO. He was a best friend,very sick at the time.  Honestly, I don't remember how the conversation started, but I remember it.  What we leave behind.  He asked me and while I was thinking he said he wanted to leave LOVE.  Okay, I have no poker face, so there was an immediate puzzled look.  He elaborated.  Saying he wanted everyone to know that he loved them... OHHHH.  I see.  Smart, smart!  We made an agreement to always tell each other that we loved the other.  He had a billion reasons why you should say it, and say it often, but being sincere..  it validates the person you are saying it to, on a deep level.  He was living in the moment... and loving in the moment... and sharing that experience with his world.

After he passed, this other person came into my life.  We dated, me and this guy, I have mentioned him before, Ev (or E, I interchange them all the time, he was the first to call me M, LONG story!).  Ev and I became best friends.  We discussed the love theory at some length... and we challenged each other to implement it.  Awkward at first... because we had broken up, months before... but we were bests still, so there was obviously love there.  That's when I learned to categorize it into romantic vs non-romantic.  The Greeks have 5 words for love... why can't I have two?

Explain, because, it is a unique thing.  Its just loving for the sake of loving... Nada expected in return... hang on, there is a poem.. that describes, before I post the whole thing as the description...

Love Not Out Of Want...

nlove
not out of want
not out of need

love
out of choice
love for sake of loving

love
unconditionally
unrestricted; no agenda

love
mercifully
extending forgiveness

love
gratefully
thankful at every chance

love
compassionately
nurturing and healing

love
passionately
let yourself free

love
eternally
without need to end

most important... receive.
the well will not run dry

be loved
surrender
let love in


Okay that's outta the way... Hopefully it creates more answers than questions.  Been my philosophy for quite sometime now, just to love.  And do so without conditions because, no one likes to jump through hoops.  No one wants the you-have-to-do-this-inorder-to-get-this kinda stuff over their head... That is manipulation.  The unconditional kind of love I share is very nurturing, its in my nature as a healer to do so.

Love just for sake of loving, all out, nothing in return...  This seems like a perfect kinda love.  No I know not everyone does it... And I have been burned because people don't get it.  I know of six individuals in my life who love like this.  Six... that I hold close, and tell them I love them often... and they do the same.  Is it romantic?  NOPE.  Now my friends fam know I am a dork about this too, telling them I love them often.  I don't think they understand all of it, but they humor me.  Somewhere I know it resonates within them, they know that no matter what happens I care about them... that they are loved.

Practicality... I have a lot of love to give... and I do get burned out.  If you love everyone, what makes that ONE special?  What differentiate friendships from acquaintances... ahhhh.  Well the romantic kinda mushy love... for one, (which btw, is still unconditional).  The later is about trust.  Though there is trust in the first one.  Trust, is an entirely different subject for me, another blog.  Trust is something I hold near and dear, and it can be earned... and you can get closer to the inner part of me...

In the real world... the application yesterday had me in tears.  Ugh.  I forget that those words wow.  What a difference they can mean when they have sincerity behind them.  I was having my own stumbling blocks yesterday... dealing with my own internal demons combined with some external happenings, made for a really off day.  When I got that voicemail from Ev all he said was... "this is your reminder.  I love you." 

Oh the goober!  That was the emotional shove that threw me off the cliff... I was balling.  It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear, exactly when I needed to hear it. I text his sis asking her to relay the message... because I knew he was on a plane.  She said she would.  Ten min later, I got another voicemail (he dialed my voicemail directly GRRR.)  "Just got a feeling you needed to hear it.  Gonna say it again.  I love you.  I know you're mad and frustrated.  But M you talk to much and I can't talk right now."  Yes Ev, I know you read this... thank you, I did need to hear it.  You know me and even though you are a sh*t for the direct vmail dial, I love you back.