Things have been pretty freaking good. Been so extremely busy. Running around taking care of 5 kiddos, yup 5.... I lovingly borrow and return at the end of the day. They are keeping me busy. Lots of learning but that goes each way.... I am strict but still very loving.
Score, yesterday at the store I was complimented for their behavior. SO yup they got rewarded!
Writing continues, though it is more done from a book style at the moment. Matt just asked me to keep on going, telling the story. He had some personal matters to attend to so he's not as readily avail as he had been. No worries, I keep on going and we still chat and often, thank goodness for unlimited text messages. I thought that number would go down... nope it's increased. LMAO.
The two massages I had the other day, did well. I was hurting so badly on Monday... But come Tuesday, I was feeling 200% better! Which is how it should be. I know it was much needed. Had some emotional releases, I even laughed on the table... so not like me, but let it go..... did a bit of journaling. Feeling this positive internal energy that I feel when I am grounded. SCORE!!!
Personally things are going well... my friends rock! They are very wonderfully supportive. The amazingly incredible guy in my life is still amazingly incredible! Which reminds me what I was gonna talk about in a blog.... ahhhhhh sweet.
Here's my lesson, and it was learned... because I was able to take a step back, be objective, and realize I was making unfair decisions, requiring hoops to be jumped through that had no place in a relationship, ever... they are selfish. NOOO that's not good.
Lesson goes something like this... if you like a person for the qualities that reside within them... you can't use those same qualities against them. That's not fair. Here's the example.... We are gonna use a guy just because I am writing this and this IS how the light bulb occurred to me, personally. If you like a guy, appreciate (say) his work ethic, then you cannot get mad when he works his tail feathers off (picking up a late shift or a few more hours)! That is not fair, not right.... It was a quality you found admirable... Are you are saying that you appreciate the quality but only if it's convenient for you? WTH?.... NOOOOO not right at all. Be consistent. Don't make someone choose. Don't bend the rules when its works for you.
This lesson is kinda tough sometimes, its easy to think me, me, me... but hello that's not what the inside of a relationship is about... be it friendship or romantic; its a duality one that exists between two people, so consider both parties. I have been on the other end of that stick. It's not fun. You are only allowed to show the qualities when it works for someone else.... but its a character defining quality, so it seems like they are caging you in. NOT good. Why not come up with a different solution. Make that potential negative, positive. Find a way to praise the person because it still is a quality you like deep down.... and its part of them... of course things don't go then as you originally intended, but it can be better! And that's what it's about right? Build each other up instead of tearing them down. Yes, it is a decision.
Speaking of decisions..... The decision to find happiness internally... NO ONE will ever complete you... You have to find that inside yourself. Complete yourself. Make yourself happy, then you will find additional happiness. What happens when you count on someone else making you happy? Firstly, that's a lot of pressure for that other individual, seriously no one is on the happy train 24/7. Don't build your entire foundation for your happiness on someone else, when they crack, which will happen you fall too. YIKES! Secondly, if you are dependent on that other person, if you are lacking then well you will never fully be happy.... its all an illusion at that point. But if you are truly happy, able to find that within yourself... then someone else just adds to that. LIKE attracts LIKE. You'll find someone with the same internal happiness and VIOLA!
Now if I could just pour that knowledge into a few people... think would be better. SMH. There are some people that just can't learn from someone else's mistake, they have to do it for themselves... I can see the fall about to happen but I have to let it go... and that kinda sucks. Mostly sucks. But if that's how they learn, gotta let them fall... just hope I am kinda close to help with that fall.
Journaling, and journaling, and writing words upon words... seeing where it leads me. I am quite talkative, but have made sense out of some rather nonsensical situations. The positive affirmations and other changes I have made in my life are becoming more fruitful. SWEET. What a glorious validation. God is good! And one thing is definite, change occurs... I am gonna keep it on a positive track. Like attracting like. Happy about what the future will bring... more happiness, more things to be grateful for.
I am more than pleased with where I am currently in life... If it was all over tomorrow, no regrets. I love to the fullest and unconditionally and have the most wonderful people in my life and they know how much I care for them. It's with that grateful heart, always, that I proceed.
