In a bit of chaos this week, seemed like everything that could happen... everything that could go wrong... did. Well maybe a bit of an exaggeration. I mean, the sky wasn't falling or anything like that. Nope, Chicken Little, the sky, it didn't move at all. There just seemed like one thing after another, someone shifted that ONE domino and wow, let's see how many were lined up. Yea, things fell.
"When life knocks you are your knees you are in the best position to pray."
Holy cow if that isn't true! I was busy trying to micromanage my life. When the dominoes fell. What happened? My personal life went ca put, then problems with work, then writing... then a couple friendships... wow! Bad enough that the last few things didn't even seem to get to me. (My theory why they didn't get to me was because, amongst everything else, I prayed for strength and clarity... right before those last things happened. When it did happen, I was given perspective.)
At the end there, I just started rolling with the punches; even joked about being a prize fighter because I was getting so good at managing at the end there. Several friends on my status got into it too, with the whole boxing analogy. LOL. LOVE THEM! I was told that I had someone in my corner, a few actually, we had a tag-team style-stress-relieving [youtube video song off most of which was fighting or boxing themed, but we tagged each other's name and virtually tagged them into the ring] (lmao). I was even told to float like the butterfly and sting like a bee... to which my reply said I was on it, because I was becoming a "million dollar babe"(haha changed it up, no babies here)! I mean there has got to be some sense of humor out there. Its a coping mechanism I get that, but if you can't laugh... then it, just seems wayyyy worse. I got some great friends if they can take not just the analogy but that and a pep talk and run with it!
A mess... so what to do? Well, be humble. Take responsibility for mu part if there was any... and clean up. It's a process. Not done with the process btw. I know. It started with admitting that there are some things just bigger than I can handle, prayed and let go. Prayed really hard and let go.
In the last month-ish my mentality has changed. I began the blog at the perfect time, you can see the transition. Good stuff to witness. Anyhow, been praying almost everyday, checking in, finding time for meditation too, even if it's just before bed, at least a few min. Someone told me that prayer is you talking to go, meditation is the opportunity for him to speak back to you. Now do I hear the voice directly, nope, just get this internal, silence. Sometimes that is the best part, this peace. Good stuff, nope wait, check that, GREAT stuff.
So I made decisions, that were the right decisions by me. I didn't go against who I am or what I believe, even though, I as given the offer, I didn't even think twice about the temptation nor did I shy away from what I should be fighting for. Yea, tough few days. Character building, more like character defining as well. One thing's for certain I have learned more patience this week. There have been so many times when I just get frustrated with the time it takes to do something, even if it is getting somewhere, grrrr, people driving, lol, btw, there is no horn in the vehicle I drive, so I can't honk. Lol. Yup patience.
I don't take for granted the progress that was made yesterday. I am grateful, extremely grateful. There is more yet to do. But I can see that light at the end of the tunnel... Those silver linings... How many more cliches can I throw in this blog, eh?
Those in my life, their positions in my life, those relationships have been affirmed, validated, whatever you wanna call it. Yup those are the keepers. AND I am gonna greedily keep them! Love all of them for all of their uniqueness and individuality.
It is with my grateful heart, I proceed.
